Bunker Down, Y'all

Stanley Kubrick certainly found humor in the Doomsday Device, the idea that nuclear weapons cou

Image by marklarson via Flickr

ld be strung together in a rapid-fire-blast chain reaction that would create a mushroom cloud that would make the recent Icelandic ash cloud look like a mere whiff of grapeshot. I wonder if we aren't seeing the same thing with Vivos, a company based out of Del Mar, Calif., that purportedly will sell you a space in a 13,000-square-foot bunker in Barstow, that you can use in the case of a "nuclear event," or some other such disaster that will necessitate living underground or otherwise out of harm's way.

Got an extra $5,000 lying around? In this economic climate, not many people do, which might be more to the point, since that chunk of change is per person. (Don't miss out on the half-price discount for kids. They're small, so they certainly take up less space and need food overall, right?) That theory holds up only so far, though, since you can take your pet in there for free.

Now, the Los Angeles Times has toured the bunker, which must mean that it (the bunker, not the LA Times) exists. Of the 132 spaces in the works, fully half are already booked. That must be music to the ears of Robert Vicino, who is in charge of Vivos. He's probably counting the cash that he needs to spruce up the place so that it can actually be lived in.

Oh, didn't he mention that it's unfurnished? Did he mention the part about the 3,000-pound door? That must be really secure. It is protected against an EMP, though. (For those of you who haven't managed to catch an episode of 24 yet – which would be hard to believe given that it's been on for eight years now – that's an electromagnetic pulse, which wipes out all electrical equipment in an area but does nothing more to humans and animals than dull their hearing and whack them with a giant sound wave – which, for most people, is enough to knock them down and out for awhile).

Don't fancy living in Barstow? Sorry, don't fancy living underground in Barstow (or would that be under Barstow)? Hold onto your money a little while longer because Vicino has plans to build other bunkers in other states. He knows of another developer already, in Kansas, who is planning to build a state-of-the-art survival condo set for $1.75 million.

Image by andy z via Flickr

If this is all sounding a little 1950s, you're onto it. This bunker that Vicino will, once he gets enough people to commit the cash, be retrofitting goes way back to the Cold War and was used an emergency communications center by none other than the U.S. Government. The land used to be owned by AT&T. No word yet on which company will be setting up the communication network in the bunker. You probably won't be able to get satellite TV, though. However, if the Doomsday Device does go off, you won't have to worry about the weather forecast for a good long while.